Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Suicide Note Trilogy - A Letter to Father (Father Father)

A Letter to Father (Father Father)
He wrote:
Father Father,
Don’t cry for me,
For I love you now,
And always will.
You were my god,
When I was young,
For nothing was stronger than you.
But I grew up,
Things did change.
I be wiser than before,
Yet foolish as well.
Yet troubled be the wise mind,
As mine it seems it is.
We had many times together,
I hope they bring you a smile and comfort.
But I have seen,
My share of pain,
And arguments too.
And it seems I am but weaker,
For they trouble me greatly,
For no longer can I carry on.
The ghosts of years unseen,
They haunt me now,
Evident as ever.
Questions you must have,
I shall not answer for you.
But be my friends,
They do know,
Many that you seek.
They have been my life,
And kept me on my way.
But I could see the end of this,
That I was not to win this battle,
The battle for my life.

I saw what I saw,
Heard what I heard,
And thus it cannot be changed.

Arguments,
They left their mark.
As did ghosts,
And countless others.
Your silly remarks,
They stopped me dead,
From doing as I should’ve.
But you knew not,
The war that I was loosing,
And thus trouble not yourself with thus,
For I love you still.
So sorry I am weak,
Unable to beat back the darkness.
I am sorry for your pain,
I am giving to you know.
I hate myself,
And love me not,
When that is all I desired.

The pain,
It rarely stops.
I be happy most,
When with my friends,
For only then am I safe from me.
And with my friends,
I feel loved,
If only for a little.
Thus I’ve had enough,
And I am getting off this train,
The train that we call life and existence.
The train I call pain.

The blood it does stain,
Sorry for the mess.
But my hands became weak,
After I made the cuts,
And couldn’t stop the mess.

So think not of me,
When you are sad,
For then you be like me.
But think of me when diving,
Dancing or in love.
For they are what I loved,
Love is what I yearned for,
And love is what I gave up on.

So father father,
Cry not for me.
For I am gone,
And no longer feel the pain.
Little comfort,
I realise that,
But think not harshly of yourself.
For I have seen your true beauty,
So get out of the glass you reside within,
Smell the roses,
Take a dive,
And love yourself.
Instead of drinking to excess,
To keep the pain at bay.

Please remember,
No matter what,
I love you mate.
Goodbye my father.

No comments:

Post a Comment