Saturday, July 23, 2011

Letter to a Living Angel

Letter to a Living Angel
To a dear friend,
Of whom shall not be named.
I think, perhaps try,
To understand your perceptions.
Yet still I find it hard to fathom,
Just what your really saying.

We speak of love, romance and the birds and bees,
And darker things too.
Of more morbid nature,
That concerns us both.
And yet you see things black and white,
When things are always far from that.
For I of all feel I see that,
Why can’t you see that too?

No longer are you sympathetic,
To such things of delicate nature.
That’s very existence is questionable,
Which does require understanding.
Yet instead you look upon it simply,
When never more complex is it.

The sounds you make speak truth,
But not to the full extent.
I would not deny that fact,
Or that such matters require attention.
But done so carefully,
So as to reduce the negative repercussions,
And the cause of the effect.
To protect the innocent,
From the guilty’s desperation.
For some shall know,
But others not.
But only one person owns the right,
To make such decisions.

With that said and done,
I hope I can show you my mean.
To display what it is,
So that perhaps you can see this,
In its many shades of gray.
Perhaps then you may understand,
And we can become closer.
For this is splitting me,
And everything I know and own,
Right down to the very centre.
This is what I feel,
Is happening to our friendship,
Before my very eyes.
Seemingly powerless to stop it,
For I be in the very throes of it.
Breeding lies, distrust and other nasties,
And not cultivating truth, trust and other pleasantries.

Alas I see,
The fault lies with I.
But such is the state of play,
And alas for my decisions.

I cannot change the past,
But hope to change the future.
To get off this forsaken ride,
And all the pains that’s with it.
For the pain,
It drives one mad.
But it can be beat,
And it will in due course.

This does not mean I intend to leave,
And leap off the proverbial ledge I stand upon.
But instead to step back,
And reclaim what is mine.
Myself, body, and life,
And stop with the defamation.

I write this out of love,
For you and countless others.
But also for myself,
To declare this to myself,
Reinforce it as I must.
To help us understand,
Exactly what is going on.
And to give me strength,
As that is what I need.
To fight the fight I must,
And emerge triumphant against my foe.
As for me,
All is lost,
If the foe emerges true.

It is a bitter battle,
But a battle I will not loose.
For I have three living angels beside me,
And you my caring friend,
You are one of the living angels,
Who helps me fight the good fight.

So now I hope your realise,
The subtleties of all.
Perhaps see what I am stating,
Or at least ask me of the details,
Which I will give you freely.
So that with all the facts,
You can make,
A most educated opinion.

This is written,
With lots of love.
The love that holds it all together.
The glue of friends,
The glue of life,
The glue that keeps me going.


This was written to a friend of mine, one of my living angels,
in a time when I felt she was being harsh and unfair.
So I wrote this poem, to express what I truly wanted to say,
but didn't want to say in case I hurt her.
We have since become close now, and have a better mutual understanding
of each other position, of which I am very thankful for.

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