I am that fucked up seriously?
My realisations to life, that there is no real point for existence, is being considered negative?
Ok, it may sound pessimistic, but is it not true?
Or am I that far affected that nothing I think is correct anymore?
Seriously M, what is it?
Or is it the fact that many people are too afraid to realise these things Ive realised?
That I am not merely pessimistic and am not violated and infiltrated by depression but merely being a realist?
I have had so many conversations with people about it, but at the end of it, they always say, oh but you'll get out of it, its just the depression talking.
And then people wonder I go quiet, and when people ask me what Im thinking, they don't like the fact that because they've degraded me a bit, and essentially told me, that Im so fucked up its not funny, that I reply, well I'm contemplating stepping in front of that bus, or taking a dive off the balcony.
I know Im fucked up, or so Im told, but are my thought processes so screwed up?
And if so, I don't think I want anyway if my thoughts are that screwed.
ARGHH!!!!