Hmm, taking a few heavy hits now, but Im still standing.
For a while there, it was gonna be the worst when I got home,
but managed to get above Su's threshold.
Hope to stay well and truly above it tonight and get more work done.
Appointment with Tom tomorrow.
I can already feel the huge amount of tension inside of me,
seems Im concerned that I may spill my guts completely which would be bad.
Didn't realise how easily manipulated I am till today,
due to this, it seems I am very vulnerable.
Hope to get some strong defenses up for tomorrow.
Can already feel the tension and anxiety building.
Strongly suspect Ill be having a few panic attacks before the night is out,
and some tomorrow morning. Hope I can keep a grip enough to be useful.
Do that, and I may be prepared to actually make this meeting a productive one.
So dam tired, I think it'll be the caffeine tablets to the rescue, hopefully they work,
and hopefully I dont get carried away as I have in the past....come to think of it,
I still remember the 14 I took in one hit, and the side effects of that are still.....
disturbing.
Have 48 left, well below LD50, so no chance of that doing me in, and there are no major interactions either,
good thing given how variable moods are at the moment. Mind you, Id have to be silly to try a chemical train trip on a weekday, no, only one day that is for.
But, no, that is not for me, living is for me.
Thoughts are thought, and dont require the action of making them real.
Figments of imagination, I must leave them be.
I will not die, in my time of dying.